Thursday, 19 May 2011

Ronald McDonald: Remorseless Child Murderer

Hundreds of Doctors Urge Man to Wash Face for the Sake of the Children
If this man doesn't wash his face soon, millions of six-year-olds will drive themselves to McDonald's, buy Happy Meals with the money they earn from their jobs, and then DIE.

A group known as Corporate Accountability International published a letter in major US Newspapers urging McDonald's to retire their mascot Ronald McDonald, claiming that he is an aid in marketing unhealthy food to children.

In the letter - signed by nearly 600 health professionals and organisations - the group asserts that "marketing can no longer be ignored as a significant part of this massive problem."  The group would like to see Ronald McDonald - a figure most commonly associated with Happy Meals and with the award winning Ronald McDonald House Charities - removed completely from all McDonald's locations, commercials and products.  This same group succeeded in getting cigarette mascot Joe Camel banned in 1997.

A spokesperson for the group said that, when they put it to a vote, it was decided that soliciting hundreds of doctors to sign a letter, then paying thousands of dollars in advertising fees to get it printed in major papers across the USA, was more practical than the alternative: teaching parents to say "NO" to their fat little children.

First they came for the fast-food clown,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a fast-food clown.

Then they came for the cartoon cereal mascots,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a cartoon cereal mascot.

Then they came for the Pillsbury Doughboy,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Pillsbury Doughboy.

Then they came for me,
and I whined and cried until my parents bought me a pony because apparently it's literally impossible not to give in to your child's every demand.

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